Little Teasers

(WordPress mobile stinks and deleted the first version I published, which makes me mad AND sad because there was a lovely comment)

The air was velvety ribbons of breeze in the summer evening. The stars played connect the dots across a deep blue sky, brilliant and playful, a blanket you could tug down to lay upon the grass.

She sat, slim and pale in a cap sleeve dress, knees together, demurely provocative. She shone like every cliche he’d ever read, luminescent like alabaster, lit from within like polished white marble.

Around them, globular swarms of some kind of bit me bugs cartooned around in tiny gangs, moths beat parchment wings. Two young hares, rump to rump like dueling pistols, crouched by the gate.

‘You do know,’ she murmured, ‘how lucky you are that I agreed to meet with you again.’

He nodded, false recalcitrance shining in the grin he didn’t bother trying to hide. ‘Im a dirty rotten bastard, I know.’

She felt the forgiveness seeping in around the edges of an already softened heart. ‘No, you’re not. Many things you may be, and a bastard for certain, but neither dirty nor rotten.’

He sketched a mocking bow and sat down beside her. ‘Ive come to woo you, until you swoon back into my arms. I just thought that you should know.’

‘I would name you cad, but fear you would take too much pride in it.’

‘Ill show you a cad,’ he declared, swooping in to scoop up her hand and place a smacking kiss across the knuckles.

She turned her head haughtily on a muffled laugh. ‘I am quite sure there’s nothing that you could possibly do to win me back.’

He didn’t answer, least always not with more words. She felt her hand turned over, and slower kisses landed upon her palm, trailed up her inner arm, stooping just shy of the crook of her elbow. Hot breath warmed the already warm pocket of flesh; he held still there, breathing slowly.

‘You may continue your wooing, I suppose,’ with only a little hitch in her voice to mar it’s insouciance.

As he straightened and leaned in towards her, as he slid a hand into a silky mass of black hair to cup the back of her neck, as his eyes smiled at her mouth, she let out a sigh, and the night air came alive.

*~*~~

There are so many really talented writers participating in the speakeasy challenge that it’s a privilege to feel challenged to raise my writing game to their level.

This week, the sentence chosen (in bold) was picked by last weeks champion, the Alien Aura blog. I highly suggest that you read her story, as I personally was blown away by it:http://alienorajt.wordpress.com/2014/03/30/speakeasy155-lienas-journey/

They also threw us a media prompt, Glory Box by Portishead. I had a creative friend help me discern some of the message within the lyrics and the video (thanks, Jason).

Categories: Fiction | Tags: | 20 Comments

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20 thoughts on “Little Teasers

  1. Some lovely images here; I think you capture the atmosphere, and the feeling between them, brilliantly. Alienora

    • Thank you, so much- I’ve just discovered (and fallen in love with) your writing, and it means a great deal to me that you enjoyed it. Thank you!

  2. I agree.. some lovely images. You wove the prompt sentence in beautifully. The romance is sweet. I like their language, a bit old-fashioned. ‘The air was velvety ribbons of breeze.’ – That’s so nice. You are churning out many fine pieces of late. I’m inspired!

    • Well thank you, my dear :) I was little worried about the old fashioned language, as it’s not something I’m fluent in, but it seemed to fit.

  3. I believe that you will receive many more lovely comments. Nice post.

  4. I like the romantic, playful feel of this. I chuckled at this line, “No, youโ€™re not. Many things you may be, and a bastard for certain, but neither dirty nor rotten.”

    • Ha, I admit that I laughed a bit when I wrote it ๐Ÿ˜„ Thank you as always for reading, your comments are always food for thought on what’s working for me.

  5. There are so many things to love here. I was quite charmed by this as a whole, but I fell in love with lines like, “The air was velvety ribbons of breeze…” and “She shone like every cliche heโ€™d ever read…”. And I really don’t think that we see the word, “cartooned” used as a verb often enough. :) You managed to incorporate that tricky sentence prompt very naturally. Great job.

    • Thank you so much! I’m trying to switch up the genres I usually write, and this was a little out of my normal ball field, so I’m so glad (that for you at least ๐Ÿ˜Š) that it worked out well. Thank you again.

  6. It certainly was a clever way of wooing her.

  7. I love your use of language. You write with the beauty and flow of an artist. The story has a light touch that masks the depth of feeling. Deftly done :)

    • Thank you so much, really. I wanted to write it kind of like a floaty little daydream, I guess, so ‘beauty and flow of an artist’ is such a cool thing to hear.

  8. I think you made me sigh too. This is so rich and beautifully told. Love the imagery, and that last paragraph is delicious! :)

  9. peggysworld

    lovely!

  10. I love the voice you use here, it complements the poetry of your words beautifully. You bring the scene alive – the stars, the kisses, their flirting. A pleasure to read.

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