The sun makes a lazy attempt to shine
And gives up the ghost,
Returns to its bed of pillows, goes back to sleep.
I would lay my head back down, too, if I could
On a pillow that was always cool,
And delve into dreams that don’t make me whimper
and throw elbows,
Protecting myself in nocturnal sojourns that I don’t remember,
If I could. Who knows….maybe I can.
I would wake refreshed , stretch long limbs
Like an elastic cat, kiss the stubbled cheek of a healthy him
And roll to my feet, loose, like a boxer ready for the bell,
Ready to fight
For my daily dose of peace of mind
Amidst the pieces of my mind,
If I could. Who knows…maybe I can.
I would journey out of this half world,
Hobo pack hitched up on shoulders that would put Atlas to shame,
Stuffed full of intention and ambition, integrity and gratitude,
A patchwork of all that I would like to be
Travelling the path of my own making, forged through a jungle
Choking itself on the mundane, I would climb the trees to the sun’s front door
And ask it to come out and play,
If I could. Who knows…maybe I can.
I would put yesterday’s mistakes into a box and label it
“Lessons Learned”
And put them away in the back of the closet;
I would put today on a pedestal and stand like a bastion before it,
Feel the wind tickle hair tendril hellos on my neck, slap some color back into my face
And drink in the two-toned spring light,
If I could. Who knows…maybe I can.
Trifecta Week 73: From 33-333 words using the third definition of the word color:
I love your poetry.
Aw, thanks ❤ it's just a random mash of balderdash but I love writing it 😉
This is so awesome. I love the descriptions you used when you talked of waking up and getting ready. So cool.
Ha, thank you very much…usually it’s more like a fish flopping out of water and some popping and cracking when i stretch, but whatever 😉
You continually surprise me. I love this. It’s really good. And the repetition, who knows, maybe I can ties it all together, keeps it flowing. Lovely.
~snicker~ I love that I surprise you by writing something that you love 😉 (and thank you, as always)
I agree with the others-this really is an amazing piece of writing. I love the reference to the cool pillow, too. It’s the small details that everyone can relate to-like that pillow-that make me love this!
Well thank you very much, it’s awesome you loved it 😉 There is nothing so satisfying as a cool pillow at the end of a long day, I don’t care who you are…
This is so very, very, good. I am not usually a big fan of poetry, but I enjoyed this completely. The tone was so easy. Does that make sense? I mean it in a good way.
I thank you so very, very much 😉 I think I understand what you mean, it’s almost more prettily phrased prose than dense poetry…maybe?? Either way, I appreciate your reading and taking the time to comment….
I like the repetition of ‘maybe I can’ – it works well here. So many phrases made me linger over them for an extra moment (elastic cat, peace of mind/pieces of my mind, hair tendril hellos…)
that makes me so happy to hear – whenever I tell other writers that I had to re-read a line, or read it out loud I mean it as a high compliment indeed so i’ll pretend the same of you 😉
I admit that I wrote ‘hair tendril hellos’ without really thinking, then i read it again, and thought…hmmm…i really love that little turn of phrase…
Soft, whimsical look that hides the harsh difficulty of existence, and let’s us glimpse it between the poignant words. Very nice testament.
I’m really glad that you caught that glimpse between the lines – you exactly describe where I was coming from when I wrote this, so that’s awesome. I’m very glad that you enjoyed it, and thank you so much for taking the time to comment.
Elastic cat is just perfect. The whole thing is, really. Great job. I went through a period of throwing elbows in my sleep. My husband woke up with a clawed chest once. 😦 I sleep better now. I hope you get a cool pillow and some sweet dreams, too. Thanks for linking up.
When the first question you hear upon waking is ‘Were you dreaming about ninjas or zombies?’ you know you did some damage during the night…oops…however, I did wake him up because I was laughing so hard once, and apparently told him it was because of the Hobbit’s so I guess I get sweet dreams sometimes 😉 Thank you for the compliment and stopping by to comment…
I really like the tone of your writing. This was enjoyable to read!
Well thank you very much 😉 I enjoy knowing I have my own ‘tone’- I read so much that I worry someone else’s will spill into it
This is such a wonderful poem!
You had me at the first phrase, but this:
dreams that don’t make me whimper
ohhhhhh.
Thank you so very much 🙂 the funny thing is, I rarely remember the dreams that make me act out in my sleep the most. Perhaps that’s a good thing…
“I would journey out of this half world,
Hobo pack hitched up on shoulders that would put Atlas to shame,
Stuffed full of intention and ambition, integrity and gratitude,
A patchwork of all that I would like to be
Travelling the path of my own making, forged through a jungle
Choking itself on the mundane, I would climb the trees to the sun’s front door
And ask it to come out and play.”
What magnificent lines!Just loved this amazing poem!A winner to me!
Seriously, you just put the biggest smile on my face, thank you so much 🙂
Well,you deserve much more-you are awesome-am in awe of your talent!So glad that I made you smile-am following you now-don’t want to miss any of your fab pieces:-)
Wow. This is my first time here and this poem is absolutely amazing. You had me from the first couple of lines. Great stuff.
Very cool of you to stop by and take the time to leave a note 🙂 I’m really glad that you enjoyed it, this is definitely one of my favorite things that I’ve written in awhile.