This morning queued up to be annoying. I was ‘accidentally’ woken up at 6:47 on a frickin Sunday. Funny how every time I’m ‘accidentally’ woken up waaay too early, after the apology for not realizing the tv was turned up too loud while watching a shoot ’em up, I’m then informed that I did something awful in my sleep.

Apparently I do awful things in my sleep a lot. One time I rolled over, put my hand lovingly on Dude’s face, then smilingly said ‘I hate you.’
I throw elbows, steal covers, laugh cry scream, get up and talk to invisible people.
I don’t remember any of these things, don’t remember dreams most of the time, although I do know I snore since a recording was provided to assuage my initial disbelief of how badly. For someone who’s not very familiar with the feeling, that recording was acutely embarrassing for some reason.

So, yeah…I’m apparently not the ideal bedmate. Hey, my waking qualities make up for it, obviously, or I wouldn’t still be sharing my bed.



Right now, I’m grateful that my kid spent the night at his buddy’s house and is going to play Whirliball today, because we weren’t able to do much this Spring Break. For the uninitiated, Whirliball is one of the greatest games ever invented. It’s set up on a half basketball court, but there’s no nets, just backboards. You drive around in this strange little bumpercar, with a stick for steering, and a little scooper dooper whatnot (like a mini plastic lacrosse doodad). You have to scoop up a little plastic ball and whang it to hit the backboard while the opposing team smashes into you in their cars.

I’m grateful that I can eat chicken nuggets and French fries for breakfast because I’m a motherfuckin adult and I DO WHAT I WANT.

Lastly, I’m grateful that this is what I see when I look out my window right now:


Categories: Non-Fiction Nonsense | Tags: , , , | 10 Comments

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10 thoughts on “Grateful…

  1. Whirlball sounds like it should be the next Olympic sport. (You can keep the snow though)

    • It is truly an Olympic effort to stop laughing long enough to control your vehicle 🙂 Ha, being as I live in Ohio, I only had to keep the snow for a little bit- within 6 hours, 80% of what was in that picture was gone.

  2. I’m grateful you write posts like this that allows me into your world. I think you are a friggin’ awesome person, and I’m glad we ‘met’. Cheers, my friend.. 🙂

    • You make me feel warm and gushy when you say things like that, and I’m not even exaggerating. I can whole-heatedly say the same of you, Steph 😄

  3. Yep – Steph said it best – “friggin’ awesome person.” (Tara’s right as well, of course, as always… =) )

    • Ha, well thank you my friend. There are some who may not agree, but it’s cool cos I don’t like them much either 😄

  4. E.W. Storch

    Ha! Your sleeping habits sound remarkablely like my wife’s (who also was forced to listen to a recording of herself).

    Oh! Bumper car lacrosse? Where the hell do I sign up for that?

    • Haha, our poor menfolk! Dude, it’s seriously so much fun, it’s ridiculous. It’s a little expensive, but you get to play for a decent amount of time and it’s totally worth it.

  5. Now I want to play Whirliball. And chicken nuggets and french fries sounds like an awesome breakfast. 🙂

    • ~snicker~ I eat like a five year old, I can’t lie…if you have it in your area, GO PLAY. Unless you have, like, a back problem or something because those 12 year olds are flippin brutaaaal in those bumper cars.

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