ZOMG – Sp@m template is hiLARious…

So apparently there’s a template for all those crap comments that thankfully get blocked from automatically posting. It’s like a Choose Your Own Adventure for being an annoying, hacky type douche canoe. Some silly bugger forgot to actually make the choices and commented this entire thing:

{I have|I’ve} been {surfing|browsing} online more than {three|3|2|4} hours today, yet
I never found any interesting article like yours. {It’s|It
is} pretty worth enough for me. {In my opinion|Personally|In my view}, if all
{webmasters|site owners|website owners|web owners} and bloggers made good content as
you did, the {internet|net|web} will be {much more|a lot more} useful than ever before.|
I {couldn’t|could not} {resist|refrain from} commenting. {Very well|Perfectly|Well|Exceptionally well} written!|
{I will|I’ll} {right away|immediately} {take hold of|grab|clutch|grasp|seize|snatch} your {rss|rss feed} as I {can not|can’t} {in finding|find|to find} your {email|e-mail} subscription {link|hyperlink} or {newsletter|e-newsletter} service.
Do {you have|you’ve} any? {Please|Kindly} {allow|permit|let} me {realize|recognize|understand|recognise|know} {so that|in order that} I {may just|may|could} subscribe.
Thanks.|
{It is|It’s} {appropriate|perfect|the best}
time to make some plans for the future and {it is|it’s} time to be happy.

{I have|I’ve} read this post and if I could I {want to|wish to|desire to} suggest you {few|some} interesting things or {advice|suggestions|tips}.
{Perhaps|Maybe} you {could|can} write next articles referring to this article.
I {want to|wish to|desire to} read {more|even more} things about it!|
{It is|It’s} {appropriate|perfect|the best} time to make {a few|some} plans for {the future|the
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{things|issues} or {advice|suggestions|tips}. {Perhaps|Maybe} you
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{I have|I’ve} been {surfing|browsing} {online|on-line} {more than|greater than} {three|3} hours {these days|nowadays|today|lately|as of late},
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{worth|value|price} {enough|sufficient} for me.
{In my opinion|Personally|In my view}, if all {webmasters|site
owners|website owners|web owners} and bloggers made {just right|good|excellent} {content|content material} as {you did|you probably did}, the {internet|net|web} {will be|shall be|might be|will probably be|can be|will
likely be} {much more|a lot more} {useful|helpful} than ever before.|
Ahaa, its {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {discussion|conversation|dialogue} {regarding|concerning|about|on the topic of} this {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} {here|at this place}
at this {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site}, I
have read all that, so {now|at this time} me also commenting {here|at this place}.|
I am sure this {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} has touched all the internet {users|people|viewers|visitors},
its really really {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} on building up new {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site}.|
Wow, this {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} is {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious}, my {sister|younger sister} is
analyzing {such|these|these kinds of} things, {so|thus|therefore} I am
going to {tell|inform|let know|convey} her.|
{Saved as a favorite|bookmarked!!}, {I really like|I like|I love} {your
blog|your site|your web site|your website}!|
Way cool! Some {very|extremely} valid points! I appreciate you {writing this|penning this}
{article|post|write-up} {and the|and also the|plus the} rest of the {site is|website is} {also very|extremely|very|also really|really} good.|
Hi, {I do believe|I do think} {this is an excellent|this is a
great} {blog|website|web site|site}. I stumbledupon it 😉 {I will|I am
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Money and freedom {is the best|is the greatest} way to change,
may you be rich and continue to {help|guide} {other
people|others}.|
Woah! I’m really {loving|enjoying|digging} the template/theme of this {site|website|blog}.
It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s {very hard|very
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{awesome|amazing|very good|superb|fantastic|excellent|great} job with this.
{In addition|Additionally|Also}, the blog loads {very|extremely|super}
{fast|quick} for me on {Safari|Internet explorer|Chrome|Opera|Firefox}.
{Superb|Exceptional|Outstanding|Excellent} Blog!|
These are {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {great|enormous|impressive|wonderful|fantastic}
ideas in {regarding|concerning|about|on the topic of} blogging.
You have touched some {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {points|factors|things} here.
Any way keep up wrinting.|
{I love|I really like|I enjoy|I like|Everyone loves}
what you guys {are|are usually|tend to be} up too.

{This sort of|This type of|Such|This kind of} clever work and {exposure|coverage|reporting}!
Keep up the {superb|terrific|very good|great|good|awesome|fantastic|excellent|amazing|wonderful}
works guys I’ve {incorporated||added|included} you guys to {|my|our||my
personal|my own} blogroll.|
{Howdy|Hi there|Hey there|Hi|Hello|Hey}! Someone in my {Myspace|Facebook}
group shared this {site|website} with us so
I came to {give it a look|look it over|take a look|check it out}.
I’m definitely {enjoying|loving} the information. I’m
{book-marking|bookmarking} and will be tweeting this to my followers!
{Terrific|Wonderful|Great|Fantastic|Outstanding|Exceptional|Superb|Excellent} blog and {wonderful|terrific|brilliant|amazing|great|excellent|fantastic|outstanding|superb} {style and design|design and style|design}.|
{I love|I really like|I enjoy|I like|Everyone loves} what you guys
{are|are usually|tend to be} up too. {This sort of|This type of|Such|This kind of} clever work and {exposure|coverage|reporting}!

Keep up the {superb|terrific|very good|great|good|awesome|fantastic|excellent|amazing|wonderful} works guys
I’ve {incorporated|added|included} you guys to {|my|our|my
personal|my own} blogroll.|
{Howdy|Hi there|Hey there|Hi|Hello|Hey} would you mind {stating|sharing} which blog platform you’re {working with|using}?
I’m {looking|planning|going} to start my own blog {in the near future|soon}
but I’m having a {tough|difficult|hard} time
{making a decision|selecting|choosing|deciding} between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal.
The reason I ask is because your {design and style|design|layout} seems different then most blogs and I’m
looking for something {completely unique|unique}.
P.S {My apologies|Apologies|Sorry} for {getting|being}
off-topic but I had to ask!|
{Howdy|Hi there|Hi|Hey there|Hello|Hey} would you
mind letting me know which {webhost|hosting company|web host}
you’re {utilizing|working with|using}? I’ve loaded your blog in 3 {completely different|different} {internet browsers|web browsers|browsers} and I must say this blog
loads a lot {quicker|faster} then most. Can you {suggest|recommend} a good {internet hosting|web hosting|hosting}
provider at a {honest|reasonable|fair} price? {Thanks a lot|Kudos|Cheers|Thank you|Many thanks|Thanks}, I appreciate it!|
{I love|I really like|I like|Everyone loves} it {when people|when individuals|when folks|whenever people} {come together|get together} and share
{opinions|thoughts|views|ideas}. Great {blog|website|site},
{keep it up|continue the good work|stick with it}!|
Thank you for the {auspicious|good} writeup.
It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to {far|more} added agreeable from
you! {By the way|However}, how {can|could} we communicate?|
{Howdy|Hi there|Hey there|Hello|Hey} just wanted to give you a quick heads up.
The {text|words} in your {content|post|article} seem to be running off the screen in {Ie|Internet explorer|Chrome|Firefox|Safari|Opera}.
I’m not sure if this is a {format|formatting} issue or something to do with {web browser|internet browser|browser} compatibility but I {thought|figured} I’d
post to let you know. The {style and design|design and style|layout|design} look great though!
Hope you get the {problem|issue} {solved|resolved|fixed} soon.
{Kudos|Cheers|Many thanks|Thanks}|
This is a topic {that is|that’s|which is} {close to|near to} my heart…
{Cheers|Many thanks|Best wishes|Take care|Thank you}!
{Where|Exactly where} are your contact details though?|
It’s very {easy|simple|trouble-free|straightforward|effortless} to
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{books|textbooks}, as I found this {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} at this {website|web site|site|web page}.|
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{site|website|blog} and I look forward to seeing
it {develop|improve|expand|grow} over time.|
{Hola|Hey there|Hi|Hello|Greetings}! I’ve been {following|reading} your {site|web site|website|weblog|blog} for
{a long time|a while|some time} now and finally got the {bravery|courage} to go
ahead and give you a shout out from {New Caney|Kingwood|Huffman|Porter|Houston|Dallas|Austin|Lubbock|Humble|Atascocita} {Tx|Texas}!

Just wanted to {tell you|mention|say} keep up the {fantastic|excellent|great|good} {job|work}!|
Greetings from {Idaho|Carolina|Ohio|Colorado|Florida|Los angeles|California}!
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{mobile|cell phone|phone} .. I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G
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{I’ll|I will} {definitely|certainly} be back.|
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{Howdy|Hi there|Hi|Hello}, i read your blog {occasionally|from
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If so how do you {prevent|reduce|stop|protect against} it, any plugin or anything you can {advise|suggest|recommend}?
I get so much lately it’s driving me {mad|insane|crazy}
so any {assistance|help|support} is very much appreciated.|
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{It is the|It’s the} little changes {that make|which will make|that produce|that will make} {the biggest|the largest|the greatest|the most important|the most significant} changes.

{Thanks a lot|Thanks|Many thanks} for sharing!|
{I really|I truly|I seriously|I absolutely} love {your blog|your site|your website}..
{Very nice|Excellent|Pleasant|Great} colors & theme.
Did you {create|develop|make|build} {this website|this
site|this web site|this amazing site} yourself? Please reply
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{is called|is named}. {Thanks|Many thanks|Thank you|Cheers|Appreciate
it|Kudos}!|
{Hi there|Hello there|Howdy}! This {post|article|blog post}
{couldn’t|could not} be written {any better|much
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{he will|he’ll|he’s going to} {have a good|have a very good|have
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{Wow|Whoa|Incredible|Amazing}! This blog looks {exactly|just} like my old one!
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{I like|I love|I really like} {all the|all of the} points {you made|you’ve made|you have made}.|
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{Hi|Hello|Hi there|What’s up}, I {log on to|check|read} your {new stuff|blogs|blog} {regularly|like every week|daily|on a regular basis}.
Your {story-telling|writing|humoristic} style is
{awesome|witty}, keep {doing what you’re doing|up the good
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I {like|wanted} to write a little comment to support you.|
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My {coder|programmer|developer} is trying to {persuade|convince} me to move to .net from
PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the
{expenses|costs}. But he’s tryiong none the less.

I’ve been using {Movable-type|WordPress} on {a number of|a variety
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{nervous|anxious|worried|concerned} about switching to another platform.
I have heard {fantastic|very good|excellent|great|good} things about blogengine.net.
Is there a way I can {transfer|import} all my wordpress {content|posts} into it?
{Any kind of|Any} help would be {really|greatly} appreciated!|
{Hello|Hi|Hello there|Hi there|Howdy|Good day}! I could have sworn I’ve {been to|visited} {this
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{around the|across the} {web|internet|net}.
{Disgrace|Shame} on {the {seek|search} engines|Google} for {now not|not|no longer} positioning this {post|submit|publish|put up} {upper|higher}!
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{Thank you|Thanks} =)|
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{A person|Someone|Somebody} {necessarily|essentially} {lend a hand|help|assist}
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{This is|That is} the {first|very first} time I frequented your {web
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{Great|Wonderful|Fantastic|Magnificent|Excellent}
{task|process|activity|job}!|
Heya {i’m|i am} for {the primary|the first} time here.
I {came across|found} this board and I {in finding|find|to find} It
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{Hello|Hi|Hello there|Hi there|Howdy|Good day|Hey there}!
{I just|I simply} {would like to|want to|wish to} {give you
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Thanks a lot.|
{Hi|Hello} there, {I found|I discovered} your {blog|website|web site|site} {by
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{Hello|Hi} there, {simply|just} {turned into|became|was|become|changed into} {aware of|alert to} your {blog|weblog} {thru|through|via} Google, {and
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{I will|I’ll} {appreciate|be grateful} {if you|should you|when you|in the event you|in case you|for those who|if you happen to} {continue|proceed} this {in future}.
{A lot of|Lots of|Many|Numerous} {other folks|folks|other people|people} {will
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of your} writing. Cheers!|
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Do you have any {solutions|suggestions|recommendations}?|
{I am|I’m} {extremely|really} impressed with your writing
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Is this a paid theme or did you {customize|modify} it yourself?
{Either way|Anyway} keep up the {nice|excellent} quality writing, {it’s|it is} rare to see a {nice|great} blog like this one {these days|nowadays|today}.|
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one {these days|nowadays|today}..|
{Hi|Hello}, Neat post. {There is|There’s} {a problem|an issue} {with your|together
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and {a large|a good|a big|a huge} {part of|section of|component
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{I’m|I am} not sure where {you are|you’re} getting your {info|information}, but {good|great} topic.
I needs to spend some time learning {more|much more} or understanding more.

Thanks for {great|wonderful|fantastic|magnificent|excellent} {information|info} I was
looking for this {information|info} for my mission.|
{Hi|Hello}, i think that i saw you visited my {blog|weblog|website|web
site|site} {so|thus} i came to “return the
favor”.{I am|I’m} {trying to|attempting to} find things to
{improve|enhance} my {website|site|web site}!I suppose its ok
to use {some of|a few of} your ideas!\

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Categories: Non-Fiction Nonsense | Tags: | 3 Comments

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3 thoughts on “ZOMG – Sp@m template is hiLARious…

  1. I’ve had comments like those and never put 2 and 2 together. That’s a lot of Sp@m template to read through! Crazy madlibs!

  2. As Monty Python said, “Lovely spam, wonderful spam…”

  3. E.W. Storch

    tl;dr 😉

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