This morning queued up to be annoying. I was ‘accidentally’ woken up at 6:47 on a frickin Sunday. Funny how every time I’m ‘accidentally’ woken up waaay too early, after the apology for not realizing the tv was turned up too loud while watching a shoot ’em up, I’m then informed that I did something awful in my sleep.
Apparently I do awful things in my sleep a lot. One time I rolled over, put my hand lovingly on Dude’s face, then smilingly said ‘I hate you.’
I throw elbows, steal covers, laugh cry scream, get up and talk to invisible people.
I don’t remember any of these things, don’t remember dreams most of the time, although I do know I snore since a recording was provided to assuage my initial disbelief of how badly. For someone who’s not very familiar with the feeling, that recording was acutely embarrassing for some reason.
So, yeah…I’m apparently not the ideal bedmate. Hey, my waking qualities make up for it, obviously, or I wouldn’t still be sharing my bed.
Right now, I’m grateful that my kid spent the night at his buddy’s house and is going to play Whirliball today, because we weren’t able to do much this Spring Break. For the uninitiated, Whirliball is one of the greatest games ever invented. It’s set up on a half basketball court, but there’s no nets, just backboards. You drive around in this strange little bumpercar, with a stick for steering, and a little scooper dooper whatnot (like a mini plastic lacrosse doodad). You have to scoop up a little plastic ball and whang it to hit the backboard while the opposing team smashes into you in their cars.
I’m grateful that I can eat chicken nuggets and French fries for breakfast because I’m a motherfuckin adult and I DO WHAT I WANT.
Lastly, I’m grateful that this is what I see when I look out my window right now: